Let me first start by saying that adversity is the fuel to any fire.
Challenges, no matter the size, make us stronger. In moments of adversity we have a choice and how we choose defines how we grow and who we become.
After reading “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” I really started to question what it was that I “gave a f*ck” about and why. I started questioning my choices prior to reading this book but while reading it so many things came to mind. I would snap when someone did something that I felt wronged by- knowing very well that it was in that persons character to be shady and two- faced; the fault was ultimately mine for not speaking up. I expected more from people who actually couldn’t be more or do better. I continuously invested my energy and time into something or someone that wouldn’t change. This pattern and these expectations kept me in a trap until a lightbulb went off. I had been “giving a f*ck” about the wrong things.
Now, there will always be problems and there is no getting away from them. There will always be shady people who call themselves your friends and willingly betray you. There will always be shitty bosses who’s only desire is to have power and popularity. There will always be choices that put you in tough predicaments but you have a choice and often forget that you do. In order to live your best life, you are required to choose better and to “give your f*cks” about things that are actually worth the time.
| Start With Yourself |
It starts with you. Sounds easy enough, right? When something bad happens it’s usually someone else’s fault, right?… Wrong.
Like Mark Manson says in The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”, bad things are going to happen and it’s up to you to decide if it’s worth giving a f*ck about. That lightbulb went off in my head when I realized it was up to me; I didn’t have to keep shitty friends or work at a shit job. It was up to me to create the life I wanted. However, it was so much easier to pin it on someone else; it meant I didn’t have to make any changes. In order to live your best life, you have to stop blaming other people for the things that upset you. If you don’t like something, speak up or take yourself out of that situation.
| Create Good Habits |
Another one that sounds pretty straight forward and easy, but isn’t.
In order to create good habits you have to get rid of bad ones; you have to change your schedule, your way of thinking and ultimately your way of life. This may mean going to bed earlier so that you can wake up earlier to work out. You may have to cut out TV time or chilling with your friends. It means making choices that make you happy and this doesn’t come without consequence. First, you will have to decide what’s more important and that means making sacrifices. Second, people will have opinions and may try to make you feel a way but you have to believe in what you want. Like I said earlier, creating your best life is up to you and once to come to accept this you’ll realize that what others think no longer matters.
*I should also mention that when making these changes, you won’t automatically wake up happier after having done it for one day. It takes time but you are investing in you and isn’t living your best life worth it?
| Practice, Practice, Practice |
While you probably already know what I have told you, the only way to notice any difference is to practice “giving your f*cks” to things that hold more value and be strong enough to part with those that do not. In the book Outliers Malcolm Gladwell says that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to be a master in any field. The field you’re giving 10,000 hours to is your life.
When you start investing your time into things that matter- like for me, my family, my health and pursuing my dreams (like taking photos at the top of this building and doing things that I have always dreamed of) etc, you start to notice how much better the quality of your life becomes and in turn how much happier you become. Again, there will alwayssss be problems but the goal is to focus your energy on finding solutions to the problems that will help you grow and letting go of the ‘problems’ that won’t matter tomorrow.
Living your best life is up to you.