Maybe it’s the Taurus in me but I really really dislike feeling like I *have to* do something. Especially something that everyone else is doing. I mean, yes, a new year is a great time to set goals and think about what you want for the year to come, but needing to decide what my resolutions are because everyone else is doing it? No, thanks.
Two years ago, around this time of year, I saw a bunch of people on my Instagram talking about resolutions and I remember feeling overwhelmed like I had missed something important – one of the problems with social media; always feeling like you have to keep up with what everyone else is doing. I digress. BUT, the point is I felt anxious. I felt that *have to* do something because everyone else is doing it feeling, and I hated it.
Instead of jumping on the bandwagon, I decided to take a step back and really give resolutions some thought. It still didn’t feel right, so I did what I always do – do things my way.
I set an intention for 2018: no fear.
“Setting intention, at least according to Buddhist teachings, is quite different than goal making. It is not oriented toward a future outcome. Instead, it is a path or practice that is focused on how you are “being” in the present moment. Your attention is on the [“now”]. You set your intentions based on understanding what matters most to you and make a commitment to align your worldly actions with your inner values.” -Phillip Moffat
So why tell you this?
Because we can reframe or change the way we enter a new decade, a new year, a new month, even a new day. For me, I didn’t want to make a check list (although I love a good list) but rather than what I wanted to do in the new year, I thought about how I wanted to live and why it even mattered. * see images in this post*
Lets go back for a second. 2017 was a hard year. Both my grandfather and uncle passed and loss teaches you and reminds you to value time. I know that might sound so extra but it’s true and how I genuinely felt. I wanted my time to be valuable; to be spent on things and people that made me want more, made me better. I wanted to live a life I was proud of and no fear meant: saying no to others to say yes to myself, standing up for myself even if I was scared to, asking hard questions, having hard conversations, putting myself out there for jobs or opportunities I wanted. No fear meant living fully for me. No more hiding. No more excuses.
Truthfully, there were many times where I wasn’t living a life I was proud of. I had larger than life plans but always made excuses out of fear. Imposter syndrome is a real thing and I let it control me. I let the opinions of people I cared about trump mine… and I hit a wall. I was tired of not speaking up to avoid conflict and then sitting with things that built up; I was tired of not going after what I wanted out of fear, and I wanted, after loosing family, to live a life without fear. A life that fulfilled me and a life I could look back on and be proud of.
Setting that intention and knowing how I wanted to live everyday, changed my life. In 2018 I accomplished more than I had dreamed of (see here)
The thing is, resolutions, goals, and intentions are all kind of the same thing but intentions, unlike the others ask you to align your values with your actions. When you become clear on how you want to live, and you visualize it, the path for the the things you need to do also becomes a lot more clear.
My approach to anything is to start with one thing, especially now that we’re entering a new decade (which btw is even crazy to say). While lists are amazing, and goals are extremely important, reflecting and setting an intention for how you want to live in 2020 and how you want to feel will help you decide on the kind of life you want. Changing your perspective changes everything and it starts with setting intentions.
Remember, it doesn’t have to be monumental to be significant. Magic happens in the small things you do day in and day out. Start with one intention. How do you want to enter a new decade and more importantly, how do you want to live and feel in 2020?
Leave me a comment and let me know!